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Hello everyone! This post, which will remain at the the top of this journal indefinitely, is the index post. Inside you'll find links to all sorts of useful information in my journal, and some chunks of text explaining different things about me and about how to reach me if you have questions or comments.
With that said, let's ( proceed! )
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Most of my essays for college will be about Japan, so I thought I ought to post them here. Most of these are first drafts-- I'll update them when I edit them, and I appreciate suggestions greatly.
This first one was a practice assignment from my AP Lit class to write an essay from the common application.
( This one is pretty boring, and full of lies, but they get better. )
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Well, I might as well say goodbye here. I'm home a good three weeks now, and it's been just as rocky and amazing as coming to Japan was. I suppose I should have some sort of wrap up post talking about how life-changing it all was, but... Not yet. I don't know yet how it's changed me, whether it was the "right choice" or not. People keep asking me how it was, and I say, "crazy" or "great," but they don't want the real story. In truth, it was the most difficult thing I've done in my entire life. It wasn't fun like people want me to tell them. It wasn't a blast. It was difficult, it was intense, and it was something I'm glad I did.
Maybe someday I'll look back on this, having forgotten the hard times, and be able to take some succinct little lesson out of my experience, but I kind of hope not. I don't really believe in things just boiling down to a neat little message. I think it far better to hold on to all the things I experienced, the good and the terrible, the fun and the depressing, so that I can really understand how this changed me.
They tell me I'm more adult now. I know I'm quieter, less childish. I think sometimes that I left a lot of things in Japan, some of them important, some of them less so. I'm excited to continue my life, but now Japan seems like a dream, like a blankness that ate up a year and spat me out unscathed. I know it's not true, but it's sometimes easier to just pretend I didn't miss so much.
And then someone mentions a movie I've never heard of or a piece of news that didn't make it across the ocean. I'll never be able to live the senior year my friends had, or the emotional rollercoaster they tell me the election was. I can only move forward. And that's a really good thing, I think.
I still think in Japanese sometimes. I talk to Eloise, and I'm going to study French so I can visit her. I'm helping out at the Japanese-American Cultural and Community Center's annual Nisei Week Festival this year, and it's kind of crazy since we all sit around talking in a pidgin of English and Japanese. It's like living my brain out loud, and I realize now that, yes, I'm fluent for all intents and purposes. Who would have thought?
Well, that's about it. I'll put up maybe one more post with photos later on, but if you want to keep up with my life, head over to my main journal, here.
So that's it. No goodbyes. I'll see you all tomorrow.
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Eloise went home today, and I, being a true friend, got on the 5:55 AM train to arrive in time to see her off at Narita Airport. I cried a little, as did she, but overall it was more busy than anything else. I don't know if anyone I know will be able to make it to my departure, so y'all better be at my coming-home party.
5 days until I get on that plane. I can't believe it!
So, two quick things. No, wait, three, and I'm too lazy to go back and edit that like I should cause it's just too damn hot.
First, nothing ruins the mood one is trying to project when the song blasting from one's speakers is, in fact, Cotton-Eye Joe, no matter how much you boost the bass.
I love seeing scruffy old men holding babies. It conjures up images of some frazzled superhero-esque mother who had to run off to save the world and just shoved her infant into the arms of the first person she saw. Yes, I know that's sort of terrible, but it makes me smile. Most trustworthy hobo ever.
And, finally, bald people should eat ice cream all the time. It's adorable. Just adorable, I tell you.
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It’s been a busy and emotional time since I last updated, and as it’s not through yet I’ll be brief.
In these last two weeks, I’ve been in a rush of packing and saying goodbye. I’ve got dates with friends almost every day this week, and there’s a lot of final goodbyes going around.
Today I hung out with my 4A friends: Yui, Hikari, Bikki, Kana, and Megumi. Later on Minoru turned up as well.
We took purikura and wandered around a shopping mall a bit, and when we got back to Yui’s house, we lazed around an waited for darkness so we could play with fireworks. To my surprise, it turned out to be a birthday party for me, complete with delicious vanilla cake.
Later, we went out to play with fire again, but it started to rain lightly fairly soon, so we quickly set off our biggest splodiest fireworks and headed home.
I didn’t cry when we said goodbye, though I feel like I wanted to. It just happened so fast. It’ll catch up with me soon, I know, but for now I’m able to put off the realization of how much I’m losing. It’s sad that just as I really get comfortable and excited to live in this place, I have to go home. No “I told you so’s” please.
The other day, I saw a gaijin asking for directions in the convenience store near my house and went over to offer some assistance. He turned out to be French, but his English was perfect, and he worried to be about the trials of living in Japan while I took him to the SoftBank store. His name was Geoffrey. I felt good to be able to help someone. I felt like a native, and when I went back to the store today, the smiling shopkeeper thanked me for helping out the other day. She and I know each other by sight, now. I wonder what, if anything, she’ll think when I stop showing up. I live here, now. It’s my home, and that scares me a lot.
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The Ghibli museum was pure awesome. I recommend it for everyone, whether or not they like Ghibli. Well, okay, liking Ghibli helps. Speaking fluent Japanese helps even more, but hey, what can you do.
We wandered around for hours through a surreal maze-like building full of hidden treasures and fascinating nooks. It was very in the spirit of Ghibli. Every single room was filled with endless things to see, and I don’t think I could ever really get bored there. Photos weren’t allowed in most places, and words can’t really encompass the magic of it, so I strongly recommend that anyone in the Tokyo area pay a visit.( Read more... )
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It’s my birthday! Happy birthday to me!
So, I had a surprise break from school today when the whole thing shut down, mid-tests, due to an abundance of students coming down with the flu. No, not the swine flu, I don’t think, though I’ve gotten mixed messages there. For the record, I feel completely fine, if I little tired, but I’ve good reason for that, as I’ll get to shortly.
( I mean, I suppose my arm falling off could be a sign of something, but I don’t think it’s swine flu. )
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So these past four days I’ve been in Mochizuki, my school’s camp-thing up in Nagano prefecture. Every year all the students head up for four days of… I dunno. Retreatingness to nature. I missed out last year because of my injured ankle, but this year every thing was fine for me to go, and I had a wonderful time! Truth be told, I don’t think I could have handled going last year. As it was, my language was barely adequate to carry me through, and as always I was frustrated by the simplicity of my fluency.
So, on Friday we all arrived at school in our formal uniforms. I found out in short order I had managed to pack all wrong, including bringing a plate instead of a postcard, and not bringing towels, shampoo, or a pair of long sweatpants. All fun, right? Well, I did manage to scrape by borrowing and playing the stupid-gaijin card. ( Read more... )
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So I managed to post this on my old livejournal without realizing it, and only noticed when the host of a podcast mentioned it. In the podcast. Where everyone could hear. And made fun of the fact that I, as a young fool, managed to use "kawaii" in my username. In my defense, I do live in Japan. So, Mr. Jesse, if you find this post as well, uh... Well, that's a bit stalkerish. Stop googling yourself, you egomaniac. Love the show, by the way. Everyone should listen to it.
That said, here is the entry in its' entirety, plus a few more photos tacked on the end since I posted on my kawaiisporkmage journal.
I'm participating in a contest from the podcast Jordan, Jesse, Go! to get as many photos of myself giving a high-five as possible, so here's a bunch of those I got when I took my camera to school the other day.
( Read more... )
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I'll have a proper update and a bunch of fun photos tomorrow. Until then:
Also, anyone who likes me might wanna take a peek here, and check for updates in the future.
Only two more months, OMG.
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There is nothing quite so surreal as singing along with your host mother to Elvis Presley’s “Return to Sender” at 9 pm in Japan on the way home from pottery class.
Life is rather lovely, I’d have to say.( Read more... )
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A new home that’s really rather old.
Who’d of thought I’d be back here again?( Read more... )
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So, I may have mentioned that I really like my new host family. Like really a lot. Unfortunately for me, due to circumstances beyond my control or influence, I'll have to be moving back to the Iharas on Wednesday.
This family, the Ookawa family, has two daschunds, Choko and Reto, from the Japanese word for "chocolate," and three children, including a daughter who I've grown to like in the two short weeks I've been here. The parents also seem incredibly nice, and I'm very sad to be leaving so soon. Especially since this house is about a 15-minute walk from my school, which is the height of convenience.
Things have been going fairly well, lately. I mean, I hit some rough times recently, but life goes on, you know? I'm prepared to make the best of the time I have left here.
I spent the day with Eloise, the French exchange student, today, and we had a blast laughing and making fun of Japan together. We ate a really big Japanese meal, and I would like to announce that I finally feel comfortable eating 90% of what's put in front of me.
Hmm... There's really not too much to say here. I feel like life in Japan has become routine, now... All my thoughts are turned to what I'll do when I get home, really. It's so weird to suddenly be standing in a place where "going home" is... well, imaginable. I have vivid dreams about hugging my family and friends. About sleeping in my own bed, chatting effortlessly. Understanding the lectures at school.
I don't know, really, what things will happen in the next couple days. It's like I've come full circle here, ending up with the same host family who launched me on this crazy ride. What will it be like, returning to the places I stumbled through as a brand-new exchange student, only now with the poise of... well, understanding. So much in this blasted year, and in the same time so little.
I was talking to Eloise today, as I said, and I found that she has had many advantages that I simply haven't. Her school is far less strict, and this means she's spent half her "school-time" in with the librarian studying Japanese. No wonder she's improved so quickly! I'm insanely jealous. But, at least now I can stop blaming myself for being unable to read a newspaper.
Japanese, I have come to realize, is not a language one can really pick up through osmosis. As an isolate language, there's really no... basis for figuring things out, from English or any other language. You need to study, pure and simple, and when you are forbidden by your teachers from doing anything beyond listen to lectures you cannot understand, well, you're a bit stuck. Same goes for kanji. There's absolutely no way to postulate the reading or meaning of a kanji without it being explicitly taught to you.
Japanese is freaking hard.
So... This is pitifully short, but hey, at least it won't waste your time. For length, I'll write up a quick list of all the things that I'm planning to do when I get home:
finish high school
go to the gym
cross-country road trip with Luna
meet-up with all the TDFers in LA
visit Texas
get a job
learn the freaking kanji, dangit
laugh without inhibitions
blend in
foster compassion for the outsider
share knowledge
learn to drive
plant a flower bush
mow a lawn
dye a raccoon tail in teal/black in my hair
get the bathwater as soapy as I damn well please
pierce my ears a few more times
consider a tattoo
watch more movies
sing more songs
write more letters
never eat daikon as long as I live
startle elderly Japanese ladies at Mitsuwa
brush my teeth more
open my arms
open my heart
open my eyes
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Somehow this picture missed out on the main post, and I didn't want anyone who'd read that already to not notice it being added, so I'll put it here.
Edit: In fact, it seems like several picture inexplicably became shots of sakura instead. Hmmm. So, I'm updated the main post with the correct photos, and under the cut are all my changes as well so you don't have to wait for /all that/ to load.
( Click here. )
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The blossoms are all gone now, whipped away in dizzy frenzy by a sudden spate of wind. Here and there lonely flowers still cling, but the sakura trees, once the belles of the ball, now blend in except for the naked pink insides of the flowers they've lost.
( Read more... )
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I took a different route home today, a path I'd seen in the morning that runs along the train tracks. It's spring, now, well and proper, so the sakura (cherry blossom) trees are in full bloom.
You've probably all seen pictures of these trees. They're so beautiful, even in a photo, but that doesn't really compare to the real think. Anime, I think, is able to come closer to portraying the sense of them. Somehow, in the cartoonish surrealism they can capture that giddy perfection of these trees. They're so pale pink, just ethereally beautiful with the continual rain of petals and soft rush of branches. That's not made up. They petals constantly fall, covering the ground like warm, sweet snow.
I walked along this path today with music playing in my ears. "New Soul," was the song, and it was perfect for the bright sunshine and scent of spring in the air.
I walked with a spring in my step, and there were white butterflies darting among the trees like falling petals given life. I brushed past, sending them into dizzy fits with the breeze of my movement. Ducks in the river paddled through floating, clinging rafts of fallen blossoms, like they were breaking through sheets of ice. It was beautiful.
Old women sat on tarps spread right out in this little side-street. They shared food with each other and laughed and said hello to me as I passed. There's something simply wonderful about seeing other people joyful and content. Even if I wasn't happy already, this would have made me so.
I'm in love, you see, and not just with a country.
I also wanna take a second and say thank you to everyone who's given me support so far. Whether it's a comment on the blog or a phone call or a postcard and a couple of comic books, it makes me so happy to hear from you people! I miss you all so much, and I can't wait to thank you all in person when I get home.
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I saw a woman with green hair today in the train station. A gaijin woman, tall and slim and dressed in fashion all wrong for Tokyo. She had a knee-length, flowered skirt, and those old-fashioned tights with the pretty dark stripe right down the back of the leg. I'd already been having a good day, so her half-smile in my direction had me beaming.
I've mentioned it before, but there seems to be an instantaneous connection between two gaijins who see each other in Japan, especially in places that aren't all that touristy, like little train stations. It's as if anyone who's spent any time in Japan starts to understand that strange, weird otherness that we can't ever quite shake, and when we meet someone who's experienced that same "freak" status, we can't help but connect.
Today was a very good day. As I've mentioned, I moved to a new class today, class 5E, the second-to-the-worst, academically speaking. And it's awesome. I sat with people and talked with people and worked hard to learn names and stuff. I had people to sit with at lunch and they seemed interested in me.
It was awesome.
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My camera battery died able halfway through, so. Yeah.
I am not motivated enough to, like, actually tell you anything about this, though. So there.
( Here's a bunch of pictures without explanations. )
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